No. 308967 [PM]
well yeah
No. 308968 [PM]
Today we are crossing the f*cking pond all the way to Great Britain to dissect, with the surgical precision of a drunk butcher, the video from the channel English Eats titled "Kfc trying the new mozzarella burger uk mukbang", fresh out of the oven.
The video is a classic mukbang (one of those f*cking videos where people sit down to pig out in front of the camera while talking nonsense) starring a Brit*sh dude who decided to order a Mighty Bucket for one from KFC, alongside the latest hype: the new Mozzarella Burger and some mozzarella bites.
But fast food in England looks like an economic horror movie:
•The Chicken Heist: The dude complains bitterly that the bucket used to come with three decent pieces of chicken, and now it only has two lousy pieces, and one of them is pure f*cking bone with microscopic meat!
•The £3 Gravy Robbery: He paid an extra 3 Brit*sh pounds for his classic gravy sauce to dip his chicken in… and what the f*ck do you think happened, man?: The asshole KFC employees stole it or forgot it at the counter! The poor guy is left sitting there looking like a complete clown trying to dip his chicken into thin air!
•The Cheese Disappointment: The mozzarella bites looked ginormous in the TV ads, but in real life they're super cheap, way too "herby" (packed with black pepper and herbs), and the mozzarella burger with its white McDonald's-style mayo turns out to be a pretty average experiment. His final verdict: "It's okay, but not worth getting again."
Like any good, boring mukbang, the guy starts rambling about a thousand random things while chewing with his mouth wide open:
•The Random Mom Gift: He tells a story about his mom buying him a SpongeBob passport holder for Christmas, along with Incredible Hulk and The Sopranos t-shirts, even though the guy isn't even a big Avengers fan and hasn't even finished watching the mafia show. Moms are always gifting random garbage nobody asked for!
•His TV Show Trauma: He starts philosophizing about why he started watching Lost and The Sopranos, but since new episodes came out every week or every six months, he got so lazy that he just threw them straight into the trash.
•The Cat Mukbang (Blue): In the middle of the video, he throws a chunk of chicken onto the floor for his cat named Blue, so the animal can have his own home mukbang and stop jumping on his chair.
Toward the end of the video, the fat bastard drops the food gossip and starts planning his upcoming vacation:
•He's Flying Solo to Morocco: He announces that this is the last video he's filming before packing up to fly to Morocco all by himself. And what the f*ck is he going to do over there? Obviously eat KFC in Morocco to compare if African fried chicken tastes better than the British version!
•Airport Tricks: He explains that at airports, if you buy food at Burger King, they give you unlimited drink refills, but the ultimate tragedy is that when you go through TSA/security, they force you to dump your little cup right into the trash bin.
•Pre-filming Work: He leaves several videos recorded in advance so he can lay in a hammock during his trip without the stress of running around with a camera.
No. 308969 [PM]
well yeah