No. 307496 [PM]
The vid is titled "They BANNED Danny & Gary… Now I Review Their Fish & Chips!", published fresh on November 1, from the channel Greeno Eats
The guy from Greeno Eats boldly (and rather stupidly) heads down to the picturesque coastal village of Padstow in Cornwall, England. What is the asshole going there for? Not to vacation; he’s walking straight into the lion's den at a joint called Walker's Fish and Chips.
Why is there so much bad blood?
Turns out that a few days earlier, his buddies and fellow foodie colleagues, Danny and Gary (other fucking content creators), went to do an honest review of that very same spot, and the food was so goddamn shitty they handed down harsh critiques.
How did the owner of the fucking place react? Like a bitter, fragile crybaby: he blacklisted them, kicked them out, banned them for life, and barred any other reviewer from stepping foot inside!
Since Greeno isn't that famous or widely recognized (being a total nobody actually paid off for once), he takes the risk of sending his cameraman (affectionately dubbed his secret agent "Green Ager") in to buy meat pasties, while he discreetly lines up to order a fish and chips combo to test whether the place is genuinely a piece of trash dumpster fire' or if the owners just have egos more fragile than spun glass.
Greeno drops £22.45 British pounds (a hefty chunk of change for pure garbage) on a banquet straight out of a stomach ache nightmare:
•The Fish (Haddock): An absolute abomination. The batter is soggy, greasy, undercooked in spots, and looks like a flat-iron press for pure indigestion.
When he squeezes it, so much grease pours out it looks like the fish was harvested from a mechanic's workshop floor. Inside, there’s no fresh flaky fish meat to be found, just a claggy mush that disintegrates in the most depressing way possible!
•The Chips: Pale, sparse, rubbery, lukewarm at best, and carrying a texture like old vulcanized rubber that inspires instant heartbreak. Greeno and his companion struggle mightily just to chew them.
•The Jumbo Sausage: So intensely toasted and sunburned it looks like it spent all summer vacationing in Madrid without sunscreen, sporting a mushy skin with zero "snap" when you bite into it.
•The Mushy Peas & Curry Sauce: Mashed peas that resemble a dry brick straight out of a tin, paired with a sweet curry sauce tasting of raisins and sultanas which is, ironically, the only passable thing on the plate (a measly 6 out of 10) amidst a sea of absolute catastrophe.
•The Savior of the Day (Holy Energy Drink): To wash away the taste of drainpipe runoff, Greeno pops open his sponsored peach iced tea (Holy), crowning it an undisputed 10 out of 10 that literally saves his fucking life from the fish horror.
In the end, after paying an arm and a leg for food that tastes like despair, Greeno slaps a pathetic 1 out of 10 on the joint, declares it a premier tourist trap, and publicly begs the owner to ban him too so he’ll never have the temptation to return in his miserable life.
No. 307516 [PM]
>>307505Rustlers burgers look gourmet compared to that shite :DDD
No. 307522 [PM]
>>307519Lots of ppl have a very "romantic' ides about the U.S just like France, but truth be told, it's pretty ass and expensive.
Mexico is a terrible and shitty country but at least the food more or less slaps :DDD
No. 307526 [PM]
>>307519only Yank fast food place I still want to come to the UK is Arbys cus it seems like it's meatmaxxed, cheesemaxxed and slopmaxxed, everything you want from fast food
Burger King and Wendy's are really the only Yank fast food places I go to these days cus they both do a specific thing the best. BK is good for cheaper fast food which is still kinda decent for the price especially with app, unlike McDonald's. Wendy's is good for more expensive fast food but it actually justifies its pricetag, unlike Five Guys :DDD
No. 307530 [PM]
>>307526KFC went to shit tho
It used to slap :DDD
No. 307532 [PM]
>>307530it's still decent in the UK but Popeyes is better, also Jollibee has good chicken but that hotdog spaghetti shite they do fuckin sucks :DDD
No. 307538 [PM]
>>307526wats dat 1 single thing yu liked @ wendy called against,,,,,
4got da name`````
No. 307539 [PM]
>>307538all Wendy's stuff is good, baconator is the best. It is very expensive but you also get a shitload of meat and it's like 1000 calories just in the burger. Baconator meal deal with chips and drink is like £12 which is a lot but I would rather buy that than a McDonalds meal which is like £8 for the worst food you've ever eaten lol. Certainly a better price than Ozmaballs favourite Five Guys where everything is overpriced and also individually priced so he spent €35 for a small basic hamburger chips and drink lmao