No. 297626 [PM]
It feels good to be in the driver seat. Just be able to drive, perhaps aimlessly, all around. To see nature, or sundown. Take off your mind and, just like in those posters, ride into sunset with some vaporwave music turned on
That is wat I do frequently, and it helps me with easing a bit. I just like seeing all those trees and shops and gas stations. They remind me of those days when nothing really mattered and anything goes
Snow is going to fall soon. And I havent yet made up my mind on wat I want to do with my life. It seemed not so long ago that everything just kinda went by its own but now Ive suddenly realized that Im stuck. I thought that just having a job and a family and friends is good enough on its own, and it is. Its just that I feel no progress in life
Before, there wasnt such a problem. Straight out of the school I always knew wat I wanted to do, it just come natural to me. I went to study more, as it is the most obvious thing to do. Time passed and now Im here, in the seat of my car, not knowing where should I go
Sometimes, I hang out with my friends. We like to play most boring games, and it was always more fun that way. This week is the second that I skip on it all, whereever theyve wanted to go this time, I just feel that I cant go. Something more important must be done first, but what is it? Dont feel much of a clue
It is depressing, in a way. It is snowing already and everything is beautiful outside. But also it is the most lonely, the pure white snow is just not vibrant enough I guess. With the night time, night lights will be turned on and the town will be lit a light. My favorite time of the day, as it makes soon-to-be-winter more mysterious, interesting, deep…
With a bottle in my hand I go home. Sometimes, it is okay to drink a little. To ease up and take off mind from stuff. Relax and stuff. Maybe couple of beers, it is not a biggie
Then, it is winter already. Now it snows frequently and a lot. I have to shovel the snow but my hands are trembling now. Im hardly fit to do any work at all but when looking in the window, I like what I see. Snow just makes everything look magical
It is quite useless now that it occurred to me, to drink. After the first euphoria of being piss drunk all there is is just stupidity in continuing. If Ive wanted to do something more interesting with my life, definitely wouldnt drink
But I cant stop now for the same reason. There is just no reason to stop now, isnt it? I need that to live now. I cant exist without it now. And stopping now just looks incorrect. At least Im going somewhere with it, and that on its own is far better position to be in
Summer. All the snow has melted away long ago. Ive been stuck at my place for months now. In indecision about everything and anything. What is important and what isnt, Ive been trying to think but that I hardly can do. I crave alcohol and nothing more. All that once was now I hardly can see as important. But here is a devil's twist, now alcohol is wat really is important. Alcohol is definitely the thing that is plainly obvious has importance. Nothing can be compared to it, joy or pleasure, nothing. Alcohol and thats it. Even time is no longer so important as I dont remember half of the things happening to me
Maybe Im too old now. Im afraid, I can die soon. I thought that I was young but it seems that Im not. I dont remember how much time has passed now. Before, when at times I thought about time and death, Ive felt fear and saddness. Now it seems that Im so old that I dont care about it anymore. Indecision has left me, it seems that the problem wasnt that I didnt care enough. But that I cared too much for my own good
No. 297632 [PM]
Bob is one cute zigger
Fortune
Wonderful day. Your hangover just makes it seem terrible.
No. 297637 [PM]
Is this based on trvth, facts and logic or is it purely fictional?
Anyway the problem with alcohol is that, if you have, like i do, uralo-altaic-fenno-ugrian-turanic-slavoid genes is that once you get taste of alcohol its almost, well not almost, but literally impossible to quit. So the best you can do, is just limit the times you drink. Its already an achievement if you dont drink yourself to early grave. Although that doesnt help much, because for fenno-ugrian soul the idea of some thing such an achievement is merely a joke. what fun, what life there is in excellence. No thing… The only aim there is, is action, and the only sin, inaction. what action? doesnt really matter. if there is progress in one direction, whatever direction, then its good enough and moral already.
And dont take this as a depression talk, this is not a depression talk. Its in fact impossible to feel depressed as you fully realize that the act of living lively is good life and any ideas about ideal life of the current zeitgeist are no thing but distractions and way to make you feel less of yourself.
p.s. it was raining ice today. big, thumb sized pieces of ice. very brutal weather.. figuratively obviously, as we surely know that weather cant truly be brutal as it is defined as an intentional act.
No. 297698 [PM]
>>297637It is made to be real as possible, so, perhaps, it is not entirely fictional
I see, so you indeed understood exactly wat I meant to say in this post. The Fenno-Ugric soul is really powerfull… So, yeah, lately Ive been thinking about how to live a life. When I sometimes look by chance at people and see that they are old, I begin to think about myself. And Im young but I still feel as if I should be doing something more important with my life because life is short. Because of this utilitarian logic, that if you dont do optimal thing at all times, I feel guilt to exist sometime. But it doesnt make sense isnt it? Wat is optimal and how my life be dat? Wat is really best course of action if you are fine either way?
Dunno. Maybe it is depression talk. As it literally makes us to stutter in place. I really have trouble of understanding wat a good life is, how can it be achieved, and if I perhaps already have a good life
That is really brutal weather indeed… only in the figurative capacity of course, as nature cannot be mean. I wait for snow but there isnt yet. Perhaps, it wont even snow in September this year… climate change is stupid
No. 297701 [PM]
>>297637I dont think Asians are so bad with alcohol though. I thought alcohol was pure devil and while it is devil, it is not so satan as Ive imagined… Sure some people are predisposed for substance-abusive behavior but they should know dat and be told by their doctors about dat. But not all people are really easy to addict to some thing
Well, it reminds me how white skins used alcohol in wars with native americans. Natives really didnt know, so it had devastating effects on their societies. I think its because in their culture there just wasnt consensus on alcohol so there wasnt an opinion on it that could be enforced, so natives drunk like crazy because theyve never seen such thing before
So, dunno. I think today Asians known more by their alcohol tolerance. So, I dont think it is all about genes because no matter how your genes are, alcohol has one effect on all bodies, so it must be societal problem. I dunno. All time I drunk a lot I had no hangover and no desire to drink more. But thats perhaps because I eat before and during a lot. So, I dont think any one can really be bad with alcohol as in genetically bad, in fact, Asians must be strongest if dat were to be true. But it isnt, stereotypes isnt really true isnt it, but perhaps it is not untrue that perhaps once they were true