I stood for a moment in the hallway, like a totem with hands wide. Not wishing for a rain or a lightning, but for a guidance. Which cabinet is for me to enter and everything. Then by a chance I got a tip, I must fetch my medical card first. That I didnt do and so then I fetched it and seated myself in the anticipation of the great and wonderful doctor. Oh, doctor, all of my worries just brush away with your stethoscope
It was almost my time, 15.00, and I'm prepared to enter. I stand up like a militant turkey and march like a bird soldier right into the fire that is the doctor's cabinet. Wat to expect or not to expect, if you arent being mowed down by a turret in the first ten seconds then perhaps you are gonna survive. Sometimes Im quite a light sheet of paper, do not worry and the wind wont carry me away on a first whim. This was such time, even though historically Im more inclined to be worrying, like a leaf on a flowing stream. Well, no matter. Wats worst could happen? Its not like I'm gonna die, any way, wats the purpose of such doctors? Maybe just get some bruises or something, insignificant thing. Or maybe the worst of all, another appointment. Nothing is worse than this
I enter, I get myself seated and then the doctor asks wat is the problem. Now, how can I explain to him wat is my problem? I cant even begin to describe it. It is painful but not quite, grave but not important… and so on. Maybe, I dont even have any disease or anything and Im here out of a panic. Then the doctor is going to think "look at her, she is wasting tax money for nothing"
So, I have to say something but nothing comes to mind. I like to enjoy the moment, the calm breeze of this room and almost silent radio is a perfect aesthetic for a doctor of his age. I remain seated like a reclusive falcon which sits on the glove and doesnt know if he supposed to fly or not. Not so militant now
The doctor notices the difficulty that I'm having. As time is of the essence here, he tries to enquire in the other way. First he starts with simple matters. Looks and tries ascertain the overall status. Testing the waters, so to speak. Well, if Im already in his lair and this lair has a certain function then me being here already speaks of everything. Do I really have to say anything? I already feel guilty, I already feel being judged and condemned, silently, in the bird language
Perhaps the doctor has the overall view of the state of the matters.
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